1998 vs. 2011: The MLB All-Star Game

July 7, 1998. I was driving (riding in a minivan actually) across Florida with my family on the way to Disney World. Most kids would be elated, but I was far from happy. I was missing the highlight of the summer – the All-Star Game. Growing up without cable, televised baseball games were few and far between. But on one night in the middle of the summer, FOX allowed me to watch all the players I had idolized with posters on my wall, discussions with my second grade classmates, and batting-stance imitations in the Little League on-deck circle. The American League always won, but that just gave me more hope that next year would be the NL’s year (a philosophy that the Cubs had long since ingrained in me).

Thirteen years later, here I am watching the 2011 All-Star Game. The following is a little tribute to my 7 year old self, who was stuck on the highway and missed watching the AL trounce the NL, 13-8. It may be tough to compare the superstars of 1998, when steroids were as prevalent in baseball as chewing tobacco, with the household names of 2011, but here it goes:

American League

• Catcher 1998: Ivan Rodriguez. 2011: Alex Avila.

Pudge, still playing these days, is one of the best catchers ever. Alex who? Give me Rodriguez.

• First Base 1998: Jim Thome. 2011: Adrian Gonzalez

Thome is still around in 2011 too, nearing his 600^th homer. Even though Gonzalez is having a great year, I have to take the Peoria area product.

• Second Base 1998: Roberto Alomar. 2011: Robinson Cano.

Alomar was as dynamic as they come at second, but Cano is coming off a Home Run Derby crown. Here’s to you, Mr. Robinson.

• Third Base 1998: Cal Ripken, Jr. 2011: Alex Rodriguez.

Ripken was playing next to 1998 A-Rod in this game, and was still the classier option.

• Shortstop 1998: Alex Rodriguez. 2011: Derek Jeter.

’98 A-Rod is definitely better than the 2011 A-Rod who just lost out to Ripken.

• Outfield 1998: Juan Gonzalez. 2011: Jose Bautista.

Bautista hits just as many homers.. without the ‘roids.

• Outfield 1998: Ken Griffey, Jr. 2011: Curtis Granderson

Granderson might be the coolest player in the 2011 MLB, but Griffey might be the coolest player in MLB history.

• Outfield 1998: Kenny Lofton. 2011: Josh Hamilton

Hamilton is a feel-good story, but Lofton was the shit in helping the Cubs win the division in ’03.

National League

• Catcher 1998: Mike Piazza. 2011: Brian McCann.

I’ll have a slice of cheese Piazza.

• First Base 1998: Mark McGwire. 2011: Prince Fielder.

McGwire, albeit on steroids, broke Roger Maris’ home run record in ’98. Sorry Prince.

• Second Base 1998: Craig Biggio. 2011: Rickie Weeks.

Can you imagine Biggio with Weeks’ dreads? Weeks may have better hair, but Biggio is the better ballplayer.

• Third Base 1998: Chipper Jones. 2011: Placido Polanco.

It’s surprising how many players like Jones are still playing today. No contest here.

• Shortstop 1998: Walt Weiss. 2011: Jose Reyes.

I don’t know how Walt Weiss made it in the steroid era. Reyes wins out in this match up.

• Outfield 1998: Barry Bonds. 2011: Ryan Braun.

I hate Bonds; I hate Braun. I guess I’ll take the all time home run leader *

• Outfield 1998: Tony Gwynn. 2011: Lance Berkman.

Gwynn has 3,000 hits. Berkman never will.

• Outfield 1998: Larry Walker. 2011: Matt Kemp.

Kemp dated Rihanna, ‘nuff said. Can you imagine Larry Walker dating Rihanna?

Note: I didn’t do any statistical analysis of these matchups, just went with a gut feeling in order to save all the research, mainly.

Reflections at 3:52 AM, January 1, 2011.

New Year’s Eve seems to be a polarizing event for most people. The most common viewpoint is to celebrate the new year like there’s no tomorrow – which is quite paradoxical since 365 new tomorrows is actually what is being celebrated. Champagne bubbling, people yelling, music bumping; it certainly makes sense to enjoy one of the limited opportunities to recall the year that has gone by and anticipate the one that is to come.

A few, however, have a much different approach to the holiday. Why make resolutions on January 1 when a lifestyle change is available every day of the year? What makes the first day of the year more special than the 33^rd or 284^th? (The 284^th is my birthday, so it really is a little more noteworthy). I saw a Facebook status today that stated the earth is over 14 billion years old – celebrating this new year is like celebrating every time you pee.

My outlook on New Year’s falls in neither of the above categories. I never have been the kind of person to look for an excuse to party until I pass out and hope to never be. Granted, I do like the concept of celebrating the new year, but some of the theatrics are a little overboard. At the same time, I know that there is something significant about the beginning of a new calendar – January 1 is not the same as any other day. Sure, change or reflection can happen at any moment, but moments turn into seconds, then to minutes, to hours. Hours become days, days coagulate into weeks, then months, which are soon years and decades. Life turns into a routine, an algorithm before anyone realizes what is happening. New Year’s is an occasion to interrupt this listless flow of time.

In order to seize this opportunity, 3 basic questions must be asked:

1.)Where am I at right now?

2.)Where was I a year ago? In what have I progressed and regressed?

3.)Where do I want to be a year from now? Where am I going?

This kind of self assessment is an integral part of enigmatically fulfilling life’s limitless potential. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Do You Realize??

Well it’s the end of the summer again – perfect time for the Flaming Lips “Do You Realize??” full lyrics here, song here:

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes,

Let them know you realize that life goes fast.

It's hard to make the good things last.

You realize the sun don't go down,

It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.

To all my friends, fam and former teachers (I’m looking at you Mr. Schick): at the end of the summer, which has flown by once again, I always tend to reflect and “realize” that life is moving extremely fast. And, as the song goes, it is truly hard to make the “good things” last. High school, four years of an incomparable combination of irresponsibility, time with friends, sports, and everything else that comes along is already gone. Pretty soon, the time in which everyone still lives in Peoria, at least for the summer, will also be gone – and with it will go life as we have known it for the last four or five years. So, while life is flying by, let’s live in the moment and enjoy the time we have. However, the sun doesn’t really go down; college is also a great time of life and age 19 certainly isn’t the time to live on Memory Ln. Best of wishes as we move forward and know that if you aren’t going to be in Chambana for the school year, I will miss you.

I love y’all,

John

Kin... Queen James

I lost all respect for LeBron James tonight. All of it. At the beginning of the free agency period, Bill Simmons wrote an article that essentially said that the whole world would know what truly mattered most to LBJ: winning (he’s in Chicago), immortality (off to NY), or loyalty (staying with Cleveland). Instead, he chose, as Simmons put it so eloquently earlier today, “HELP!’

Every player who steps on the basketball court wants to win, I have played my whole life, I understand that. What I don’t understand, where are LeBron’s balls? Can you imagine Jordan telling Chi-town “I woke up this morning, called my mom, she wants me to be happy so I am going to go play with Larry Bird in Boston.” Or “I’m friends with Magic, I’ve decided to go join him in LA, hear it’s nice out there.” That would have been unthinkable. Instead Jordan’s attitude was to be the guy; he was going to take whoever was around him and win at all costs. He went down as the greatest ever. What does LeBron want to go down as? If it is something on the same level as Jordan, why isn’t he following the blueprint? It doesn’t matter if the Heat win the championship four times, which I do not think they will, a team centered around Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh is automatically a contender. Wade already won one without LBJ. Therefore, LeBron, who supposedly is super-concerned with is image and legacy, will never go down in the books as anything more than an amazing talent. He could have had something more; I wanted him to have something more. Stay in Cleveland, man up, and take your long heartbroken hometown to heights so high they rename the city after you. Go to New York and resurrect basketball on the biggest stage, with the most pressure, in the best arena, become immortal. If nothing else, go to Chicago and start the “who was better, Jordan or LeBron” argument by winning six titles as the sole superstar on the team. With all those options, LeBron, you go to Miami to become.. what? What are you becoming?

On that note, I’d like to delve into the Miami situation more. Dwyane Wade owns the Heat, there is no questioning that. The perpetrator of Miami-Wade County isn’t running up to LBJ’s abode to hand over the keys to South Beach any time soon. This team can go one of two ways – the two can fight over the alpha dog role on the team while Bosh yelps in the background that he would also like some shots, or James can become a glorified Scottie Pippen. LeBron is actually suited, personality wise at least, to be a great glorified-Pippen. But was that what was on his mind when free agency hit this summer; “Friends, where can I go to be the next Scottie Pippen?” DWade is the unmistakable king of Miami. LeBron doesn’t have the attitude required to dethrone him but is heading south anyways – The National Basketball Association, David Stern, friends and family, I introduce to you Queen James!

Lastly, the Cleveland situation must be addressed. Does LeBron have a heart? We have, indeed, often wondered if he was human when watching on him on the court; this curiosity is now piqued to a new level. How could any homo sapien work for a month to build up tension, orchestrate a primetime hour-long special on ESPN, and then tell the city he grew up with, the most grief-stricken city in American sports, that he is ditching them for his friends and some possible titles on the beach? I hate to keep quoting Simmons, wait I love to keep quoting Simmons, anyways as he tweeted, that is “an unprecedented Eff You.” If LeBron knew Cleveland was not going to be the choice, why would he make such a spectacle of the situation? It’s, narcissistic, cold-hearted, disgusting. It’s shocking, really. Not only is it the team that drafted him and brought him to the point he is today, it’s his hometown! For someone with blood that icy running through his veins, you’d expect a few clutch shots in the playoffs.

[Next segment to be read by Morgan Freeman.]

King Wade, Queen James, Prince Bosh, monarchy of Miami: Derrick Rose and a band of outlaws are rumored to running around up north, a tight-knit crew led by Kevin Durant are said to be on the prowl in the West, LakerLand, controlled by Zen-Master Phil and the stealthy warrior Kobe, own the NBA dynasty that you want. I wish you the best – may the wind be always at your back, may the rain fall softly upon your fields…. Actually, take that all back; I hate you.

The Cereal Power Rankings

I’ve decided to start this blog the same way I start the day – with cereal. This breakfast food is a big part of my life; seldom is there a day when I don’t consume multiple bowls (I always go heavy on the milk side, in case you were wondering). Given all my experience, I feel qualified to compile a Cereal Power Rankings, of sorts, the ten best cereals on the planet.

A few disclaimers before I begin: You may notice a lack of high-sugar, very tasty cereals (think “Cinnamon Toast Crunch,” “Cocoa Pebbles,” etc). This sort of unbalance results from my mom, the primary shopper of the family, having some kind of personal vendetta against any cereal that looks like it might taste good (yes, “Grape Nuts” is one of her favorites). Also, I do not approve of titles that include the word “with” or any other type of add-on. While these non-original cereals may fill a gap in the cabinet from time to time, they do not deserve a spot in the prestigious Power Rankings. Lastly, 2% is always preferred over skim. Without further ado:

10.) Raisin Bran

The permanent staple of my cabinet. I honestly cannot recall ever walking into a Raisin Bran-less kitchen at home. Even when I was too little to appreciate the simple joy that this cereal brings, my dad would be sitting at the table, waiting to take me to school, having his daily bowl. The “Raisin Bran” genes have certainly been passed on; I do not envision getting rid of the simple cabinet fixture even as I move out on my own.

9.) Frosted Flakes

Tigers have always been my favorite animal, at some points in life my favorite thing in general. So, understandably, Tony and his sugary flakes are always on the cereal radar. Don’t get me wrong, though – the taste of “Frosted Flakes” is more than enough to crack the Power Rankings top ten.

8.) Lucky Charms

I always eat all the non-marshmallow cereal first, which is dreadful on its own by the way, leaving a semi-filled bowl of colorful, lucky, melt-in-your-mouth marshmallows. If Catholic schools realized the redemptive suffering moral this cereal is teaching kids across the country, my grade-school lunch experience would have been dramatically improved.

7.) Froot Loops

The misspelling of “fruit” really bothers me here. It’s a too-obvious metaphor exclaiming to anyone who can read that the concentration is more on the loops than the fruit. Spelling/artificial fruit/metaphorical issues aside, this cereal made the list predominantly because it reminds me of vacation and therefore puts me in a wonderful state of mind. My mom has never bought it at home, so every time I am in Florida, California, or some other exotic vacationing region, I seem to gravitate to the tropical smell of froot. Oh man, now I’m doing it! Better move on…

6.) Honey Bunches of Oats

This cereal sometimes seems too good to be true. From the looks of things, it is a legitimately healthy start to the day and tastes amazing at the same time – few, if any cereals transcend the parent/kid separating line like “Honey Bunches of Oats.” P.S.: I hate to break my own rule here, but this is one brand that is actually better with add-ons, a la “Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.”

5.) Wheaties

“The Breakfast of Champions” has been an American classic from our friends at General Mills since 1924 (source). Being plastered on the front of a “Wheaties” box is still an iconic symbol in this country and evokes legendary status. Besides all the cultural stuff, the contents of this orange box pack a nice and hardy crunch, leaving me walking away from the table ready to conquer the world and get on the cover myself.

4.) Frosted Mini-Wheats

My late grandfather, an aficionado of the more mature Shredded Wheat (not small or frosted), got me into this fiber-filled stuff at a young age. It must be said that my grandpa was my biggest cereal influence, like me enjoying 2-4 bowls over the course of an average day. Given this impact, I was appalled when my third grade teacher told my class the acronym “Never Eat Shredded Wheat” as a way of recalling directions on a map. Se said it was easy to remember because the cereal didn’t taste good. Needless to say, I boycotted acronyms for the rest of the year, memorizing everything cold turkey.

3.) Honey Nut Cheerios

How does the addition of honey and nuts transform the most bland cereal on the planet into a healthy, delectable, timeless treat? Don’t ask me. This one is definitely winner of the most versatile award – equally desirable whether I have just rolled out of bed at 7:00 AM, just rolled out of bed at 3:30 PM (there’s a big difference in the kind of cereals one prefers in the previous two situations), just returned home at 1:00 AM, or just woken up in the middle of the night and am starving. It takes a special cereal to fill that utility role, and “Honey Nut Cheerios” does it flawlessly.

2.) Reese’s Puffs

Who didn’t grow up dreaming of eating dessert for breakfast? This candy disguised as cereal is the closest I’ve ever come to my childhood fantasy. It’s one of those cereals that I find myself compulsively eating two or three bowls of at a time. The best part, however, doesn’t even come in the box, and that is what cements “Reese’s Puffs” at the number two position. THE LEFTOVER MILK IS UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS. I could drink that stuff all day. If anyone ever decides to sell gallons of pre-prepared leftover “Reese’s Puffs” milk there is surely a fortune to be made. (Thinking about this line of production always leaves me pondering the person who gets the job of eating all the cereal first so that there can be an “Authentically Leftover” stamp on the front of the gallon… I want that job.)

1.) Cap’n Crunch

No explanation necessary here - “Crunch” captains this list.

Velkommen!

Welcome to The Sandstorm! With a last name like mine, it’s hard to avoid titles like this one. It does, however, embody what I aim to accomplish with this blog – a sudden, sometimes wild, always breathtaking influx of thoughts and ideas that can permanently change the landscape and never fails to leave the survivors, er, readers, awestruck. Maybe that’s a tad ambitious. Let’s try out a second title metaphor: the iconic song by Darude. Picture yourself in the heart of a massive mosh of people, lost in the Sandstorm, ebbing and flowing with the rhythm, preferably at a PND dance of some sort, in a state of euphoria that you hope will never end. The song is beginning… get ready!