I’ve decided to start this blog the same way I start the day – with cereal. This breakfast food is a big part of my life; seldom is there a day when I don’t consume multiple bowls (I always go heavy on the milk side, in case you were wondering). Given all my experience, I feel qualified to compile a Cereal Power Rankings, of sorts, the ten best cereals on the planet.
A few disclaimers before I begin: You may notice a lack of high-sugar, very tasty cereals (think “Cinnamon Toast Crunch,” “Cocoa Pebbles,” etc). This sort of unbalance results from my mom, the primary shopper of the family, having some kind of personal vendetta against any cereal that looks like it might taste good (yes, “Grape Nuts” is one of her favorites). Also, I do not approve of titles that include the word “with” or any other type of add-on. While these non-original cereals may fill a gap in the cabinet from time to time, they do not deserve a spot in the prestigious Power Rankings. Lastly, 2% is always preferred over skim. Without further ado:
10.) Raisin Bran
The permanent staple of my cabinet. I honestly cannot recall ever walking into a Raisin Bran-less kitchen at home. Even when I was too little to appreciate the simple joy that this cereal brings, my dad would be sitting at the table, waiting to take me to school, having his daily bowl. The “Raisin Bran” genes have certainly been passed on; I do not envision getting rid of the simple cabinet fixture even as I move out on my own.
9.) Frosted Flakes
Tigers have always been my favorite animal, at some points in life my favorite thing in general. So, understandably, Tony and his sugary flakes are always on the cereal radar. Don’t get me wrong, though – the taste of “Frosted Flakes” is more than enough to crack the Power Rankings top ten.
8.) Lucky Charms
I always eat all the non-marshmallow cereal first, which is dreadful on its own by the way, leaving a semi-filled bowl of colorful, lucky, melt-in-your-mouth marshmallows. If Catholic schools realized the redemptive suffering moral this cereal is teaching kids across the country, my grade-school lunch experience would have been dramatically improved.
7.) Froot Loops
The misspelling of “fruit” really bothers me here. It’s a too-obvious metaphor exclaiming to anyone who can read that the concentration is more on the loops than the fruit. Spelling/artificial fruit/metaphorical issues aside, this cereal made the list predominantly because it reminds me of vacation and therefore puts me in a wonderful state of mind. My mom has never bought it at home, so every time I am in Florida, California, or some other exotic vacationing region, I seem to gravitate to the tropical smell of froot. Oh man, now I’m doing it! Better move on…
6.) Honey Bunches of Oats
This cereal sometimes seems too good to be true. From the looks of things, it is a legitimately healthy start to the day and tastes amazing at the same time – few, if any cereals transcend the parent/kid separating line like “Honey Bunches of Oats.” P.S.: I hate to break my own rule here, but this is one brand that is actually better with add-ons, a la “Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.”
5.) Wheaties
“The Breakfast of Champions” has been an American classic from our friends at General Mills since 1924 (source). Being plastered on the front of a “Wheaties” box is still an iconic symbol in this country and evokes legendary status. Besides all the cultural stuff, the contents of this orange box pack a nice and hardy crunch, leaving me walking away from the table ready to conquer the world and get on the cover myself.
4.) Frosted Mini-Wheats
My late grandfather, an aficionado of the more mature Shredded Wheat (not small or frosted), got me into this fiber-filled stuff at a young age. It must be said that my grandpa was my biggest cereal influence, like me enjoying 2-4 bowls over the course of an average day. Given this impact, I was appalled when my third grade teacher told my class the acronym “Never Eat Shredded Wheat” as a way of recalling directions on a map. Se said it was easy to remember because the cereal didn’t taste good. Needless to say, I boycotted acronyms for the rest of the year, memorizing everything cold turkey.
3.) Honey Nut Cheerios
How does the addition of honey and nuts transform the most bland cereal on the planet into a healthy, delectable, timeless treat? Don’t ask me. This one is definitely winner of the most versatile award – equally desirable whether I have just rolled out of bed at 7:00 AM, just rolled out of bed at 3:30 PM (there’s a big difference in the kind of cereals one prefers in the previous two situations), just returned home at 1:00 AM, or just woken up in the middle of the night and am starving. It takes a special cereal to fill that utility role, and “Honey Nut Cheerios” does it flawlessly.
2.) Reese’s Puffs
Who didn’t grow up dreaming of eating dessert for breakfast? This candy disguised as cereal is the closest I’ve ever come to my childhood fantasy. It’s one of those cereals that I find myself compulsively eating two or three bowls of at a time. The best part, however, doesn’t even come in the box, and that is what cements “Reese’s Puffs” at the number two position. THE LEFTOVER MILK IS UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS. I could drink that stuff all day. If anyone ever decides to sell gallons of pre-prepared leftover “Reese’s Puffs” milk there is surely a fortune to be made. (Thinking about this line of production always leaves me pondering the person who gets the job of eating all the cereal first so that there can be an “Authentically Leftover” stamp on the front of the gallon… I want that job.)
1.) Cap’n Crunch
No explanation necessary here - “Crunch” captains this list.
